Evil Dead: A Christmas Corpse
by Dude Almighty 15
Summary: Ash and Sheila are finally married and about to settle down. But before their Honeymoon, Ash must hold up his end of the bargain and take Sheila to meet his fabled parents. But Angus has other plans, including a roll of duct tape and Ash's parents shoved
1. Default Chapter

**Evil Dead:**

**A Christmas Corpse**

By _Dude Almighty 15_ and _My Life is Movies 15_

Disclaimer- I don't own the rights to **Evil Dead** or **Army of Darkness**.

Chapter I: Unholy Matrimony

"I now pronounce you man and wife!" pronounced the preacher. "You may now kiss the bride." He said to Ash.

"Now you're gettin it!" Ash mumbled as he leaned in to kiss Sheila. Finally they were married. After two months of being bombarded with questions about the now fixed town of Dearborn, Ash and Sheila set a date, December and it had finally happened.

They ran out the doors of the church, holding hands, and they climbed into their newer car. It was a wedding gift from Arhur and the men. They had given Ash and Sheila a piece of gold, and as it turned out the gold was worth quite a bit more then they had expected.

"So, what happenes next? What do we do now in the twentieth century?" Sheil asked Ash excitedly.

"Well, we go to my parents for Christmas, I'll explain later, and then we go on our Honeymoon." Ash explained, undoing his very tight tie.

"What do we do on this 'Honeymoon'?" Sheila asked, confused.

"Travel, among other things." Ash said.

"Okay, first I will hold you to your bargain. We must got to Chris Moss with your parents." Sheila said.

"No, Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ. There's presents and mistltoe, and... I'll explain later. Let's go home and pack, Mrs. Williams."

"I am still called by my birth name, Sheila correct?"

"Yep. That part you keep. The second name is Williams now, because we're married." Ash tried to explain. Ash turned on the car and slammed on the gas. Hw was ready to get home for a nice winter break in Hawaii, or somewhere else tropical. Somewhere other than Dearborn, Michigan in December.

"I wish my brother could have been here for this." Sheila sighed staring out the window.

'I don't.' Ash thought. The last time he and Angus had met, Angus was a rotting Deadite that tried to enslave humanity. He had been killed... again... in the battle against the Necronomicon that had been thrown into another dimension by Ash. Ash could still feel the large scar on his cheek an lip where he had fought many deadites and demons, and finally met his brde in the thirteen hundreds. He was done with that life. Forever. Now he was going to settle down.


	2. Home Again

Chapter II: Home Again

"Okay Ash, stay calm." Ash muttered to himself. "You've done this before, just not like this." His parents had never liked any of his girlfriends in high school, but now he was married and he didn't invite them to the wedding.

Sheila smiled at him and held his hand as he steered with his metal one. He smiled back, but deep down inside Ash was being eaten up.

"Don't worry, it's just your parents!" Sheila said to him.

"Thats what I'm worried about! Why couldn't we go and meet your parents, Sheila?"

"My parents are dead by now Ash."

"Damn it! Why so young?" he cried, throwing his non-driving hand into the air, andtrying his hardest not to laugh at the dirty look on Sheila's face. He turned on the radio to his favorite station, which was currently playing Christmas tunes. He started to sing along, but Sheila looked puzzled at the unfamiliar terms. "Christmas again. Oh yeah." he muttered.

"Why didn't I ever hear of this machine in my time?" Sheila asked.

"It's a radio. It's pretty new. And the songs are Christmas-y!" He said smiling and humming a few verses of "Run Run Rudolph".

Ash pulled up the driveway at his parents wooded cottage. It couldn't be called a cottage, because it was two stories and was filled with electricity. But they considered it a cosy place.

They got out of the car and it struck Ash that it was really quiet. No birds, which wasn't uncommon for winter, but usually heard a straggler.

"Mom! Dad! Hello?" Ash yelled out the car window. He noticed a broken window. Time to break out the ammo. He raced to the back of the car and lifted the trunk. He pulled out his shotgun and chainsaw. Loading the gun, Ash muttered something Sheila couldn't understand. "Sheila, take this. If I come out bloody or dont come back at all, drive away. Remember the way I taught you. Dont come back." He shoved the shotgun into her arms. He slid off the iron clamp attached to his hand and put the chainsaw into it's place.

"Hello?" He asked as he entered the darkened house. He noticed there were no lights on at all. "Guys?"

He stared back at Sheila, and slowly put one foot into the darkness. Then two, and then he was gone. He bumped into something very large and let his chainsaw slice into it. Just the couch. Boy, was he in trouble now. His father loved that couch. He noticed out of the corner of his eye a human like shape glide past his back and into another shadow.

He reved the saw and slammed it into the wall next to the figure.

"Damn boy!" the figure yelled. "Watch it with that thing!"

"Dad?" Ash asked. He saw the look on his father's face as he took the chainsaw out of the wall. "What is going on here?"

"Baby!" A less deep voice yelled.

"Oh no." Ash muttered as he was covered in hugs and kisses by his dark haird mother. "Why didn't you call?"

"What in the hell is goin on here?!" Ash yelled, brushing both the people from his sides.

"We were attacked last night. By something----- What is this?" Ash's dad asked. "Chainsaw?" He asked stroking the mechanical limb.

"Yeah... about that. I'll tell you all about that later. But I need you to meet Sheila." he cringed. "My wife...."


	3. Explanations

Chapter III: Explanations

"Yeah, about all this that I'm about to tell you. It's not pretty." Ash said.

"We know son. But neither are some of the other things you've done." Ash's dad said back to him. Ash's mom and Sheila both gave him and Ash a questioning look.

"Okay, we're done with that... Look, over the past few years I've been hunted down by things. You probably met them last night. It all started when Scott, Linda, Shelly, and Cheryl went up to the woods back in '83? The Tennesee trip?We accidentaly woke up these spirits that posessed them all and killed them. I was the only one that survived. Something just like it happened when I was up in a cabin about seventy miles from here."

"The electrical storm three years ago wouldn't have anything to do with it?"

"Yeah... That was it." Ash said. "Anyway, I was thrust into the 1300s where I met Sheila here. There I defeated an army of the dead and returned home. Then everything was peaceful for about three years untill I started having these blackouts. I went to destroy the source of my problems and the army showed up again with Sheila as a hostage. I managed to save her and the rest of the knights that were transported here."

"But honey, that dosen't exlain your hand." Ash's mom asked.

"Yeah... thats a funny story. To sum it all up, I was infected with something and it turned my hand against me. I had so saw it off with this chainsaw." Ash said. His parents sat there and stared at him for a long time.

"Okay then. Well, it dosen't top your senior prom, but I believe it." Ash's dad said. "Sheila, I'm Ash's father Brian." He said extending his hand to shake.

"1300's dad..." Ash said.

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

"And I'm his mother Joan. It's lovely to meet you." Mrs. Williams said.

"It's wonderful meeting you too." Sheila said smiling.

"You guys seem to be taking this better than I expected. Are you okay?" Ash asked, taking his parents reactions as a sign of something.

"Never better son. After last night, I'm surprised I don't come join you next time the things come around."

"I just call them 'deadites' dad. It's a hell of a lot easier."


End file.
